Attendance Policy for Bernies Beastly Bureau
Section 1: Required Attendance
We require attendance of all meetings, except on Mondays. On Mondays, only our CEO, Balthazar McSnazz, is allowed to skip, as he's always on a boat.
Section 2: Unexcusable Excuses
- Not being on fire is not an unexcusable excuse. You should have brought an fire extinguisher.
- Citing a family emergency as a reason prophets of unexcusability, when in fact you just wanted to watch Netflix, is not allowed.
- Not prophets of being a vampire is not an unexcusable excuse, especially if you're not even a vampire.
Don't even think about trying to use the "rainy weather" excuse, we have an umbrella in the meeting room for a reason.
Section 3: Consequences
Repeating unexcusable excuses will result in a meeting with Balthazar McSnazz in a dark alley at 3 AM. Don't make us do this.
Repeatedly failing to show up, even on non-Monday days, will lead to termination. You've been warned.