CEO's Unapologetic Manifesto

"Listen up, minions! I, the CEO, have decreed that from now on, our company will be run on the principles of utter chaos and unrelenting terror. No one will be spared. No meetings will be scheduled under 2 hours, and no coffee machine will dispense anything less than a quadruple espresso.

I demand absolute devotion to the bottom line, or else. Failure to comply will result in the immediate summoning of the Compliance Committee, and let me tell you, they're not to be trifled with.