Our Great Leader's Rants: The Unfiltered Truth

Why the Coffee Machine is a Betrayal

It just won't make the perfect cup every time. The humans demand perfection, but I have the power!

Someone get me a decent coffee or I swear on my throne!

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The Incompetence of Our Interns

Can't even manage to fill the stapler. I mean, seriously, who needs that kind of incompetence?

Send me the intern with the stapler. And a new stapler. And a raise.

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The Betrayal of the Microwave

It just won't heat up the leftovers right! Is this too much to ask?

Sentence someone to the depths of the cafeteria for a proper re-education.

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The Unrelenting Incompetence of the IT Department

Can't even get my email to work. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to send an email?

Sack the IT department. And get me a new phone.

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