Step 1: Bring a flamboyant outfit. Meetings are 80% fashion, 20% actual work. Don't be a buzzkill.
Step 2: Arrive late. The drama and tension will be palpable. Bonus points if you bring a tray of donuts.
Step 3: Talk loudly and slowly. No one needs to know what you're saying. Just pretend you're trying to explain something profound and watch the others' eyes glaze over.
Step 4: Use jargon. It's like a magic spell that turns people into brain-dead, zombie-like drones.