Attendees

Who will never, ever, ever be there:

• Who could care less
• Who won the lottery
• Who lost their keys
• Who slept in
• Who ate the last cookie

Because we all know that's the only reason.

Meetings: because who needs to be on time, anyway?

Other attendees who will not be there:

• Albert Einstein (he's busy with the space-time continuum)
• David Attenborough (he's with the wildlife, duh)
• Elon Musk (he's on Mars)