Our Founder's Guide to Avoiding Meetings

Warning: the following content is intended for those who are tired of being productive. Please do not attempt to actually apply any of these tips, or you will be fired.

Meetings are the bane of our existence. But did you know that our fearless founder, Bob, has a few tricks up his sleeve for avoiding them?

Here are some expert tips on how to minimize your meeting schedule and maximize your procrastination time.

Meetings Are Like Pests

They buzz around your head, sucking the life out of your productivity and leaving you feeling drained and defeated.

But fear not, dear reader, for our founder has a solution for you! Simply tell your colleagues that you're allergic to meetings, and they'll never bother you again.

Or, you know, just don't show up.

Meetings are a Form of Emotional Manipulation

They're like a never-ending cycle of "you're not doing enough" and "you're not working hard enough."

But our founder has discovered a secret: meetings are actually just a form of emotional manipulation.

So, the next time someone tries to schedule a meeting, just tell them you're allergic to emotions. Trust us, it's a game-changer.

Meetings are a Threat to Your Sanity

They're like a ticking time bomb of boredom and frustration, waiting to blow your mind.

But don't worry, our founder has found a way to defuse the situation. Simply pretend you're on a mission to save the world, and everyone will leave you alone.