Lesson 1: The Perfect Excuse
Develop a solid alibi, folks! The key to a successful Phantom Call is to have a convincing reason for your absence. Here are some tried and tested excuses:
- My car broke down (bonus points if you can make it sound like it's a 1992 Pontiac Aztek)
- I have a sudden case of food poisoning (bonus points if you can mention the exact type of taco)
- I'm experiencing a family emergency (bonus points if you can make it sound like it's a relative you've never met)
Lesson 2: The Art of Scheduling
Scheduling is an art, not a science. Remember, the goal is to make it look like you meant to schedule the meeting, but just forgot. Here are some tips:
- Use a planner that's at least 6 months old
- Schedule meetings for the exact time you know you'll be in a meeting-free zone (e.g., the bathroom)
- Don't bother with a reminder, it'll just remind you of your impending doom
Lesson 3: The Phantom Call
The moment of truth! When to call, when to text, and when to leave a voicemail. Here are some expert tips:
- Call at exactly 3:14 AM to catch your opponent off guard
- Text with a simple "Hey, I'm running late" and then promptly ignore it
- Leave a 3-minute voicemail that's just a series of awkward silence and distant beeps