Phantom Call Protocols

For when you want to make it look like you're working, but you're really just scrolling through cat videos.

Basic Techniques

• The Fake Ring of Death: Let it ring for exactly 5 seconds before picking up. This will make it look like you're really busy.
• The VCR Glitch: Record your own voicemail message, then play it back on a 10-second delay. This will make it look like the call got stuck in a time loop.
• The Disco Ball of Desperation: Let it ring for 20 seconds, then pick up and pretend to be in a meeting. This will make it look like you're in a high-stakes conference.

Advanced Techniques

• The Fake Voicemail Box: Create a fake voicemail box in a corner of your desk, complete with blinking lights and a fake phone number. This will make it look like you're receiving calls from important people all day.
• The Phantom Call Simulator: Use a software program to simulate an infinite loop of calls from a fake number. This will make it look like you're receiving calls from a time-traveling CEO.

Conclusion

Remember, the key to a good phantom call is to be consistent and convincing. Good luck, and happy calling!