Voidus Protocol: The Art of Avoidant Meetings

The Voidus Method

Step 1: Create an endless loop of small talk

Step 2: Insert an emergency fire drill

Step 3: Repeat steps 1-2 until all participants question their life choices

Substep 1: Pretend to take notes while secretly browsing cat videos

Substep 2: Claim to have a pressing engagement with a "high-priority task"

Substep 3: Repeat substeps 1-2 until the meeting leader loses the will to live

Substep 1: Declare the meeting an "emergency meeting"

Substep 2: Call in a fake "expert" to discuss "urgent" matters

Substep 3: Repeat substeps 1-2 until all participants are trapped in a never-ending cycle of boredom