As of today, we have allocated $1,000,000 for departmental bonuses. This includes $500,000 for the infamous "Parking Lot of the Century" award, given to the employee who parks their car in the farthest corner of the parking lot. We have also set aside $200,000 for the "Best Commute to the Coffee Shop" award, which is given to the employee who can down a cappuccino in under 5 minutes.