Expense Reduction Committee: Meeting 3456

Welcome, esteemed members of the Expense Reduction Committee! Today we will discuss the most pressing issue facing our organization: the cost of office coffee.

As you are all aware, the current coffee budget is $1,200 per month. This is a staggering figure, especially considering that the average employee uses the company break room to make a personal phone call 3 times a day.

Our team has identified a few areas for potential cost savings:

• Replace all fluorescent lighting with harsh, industrial-strength LED bulbs ($300)
• Install a vending machine that dispenses only decaf coffee ($500)
• Mandatory 30-minute meditation sessions to reduce stress and increase focus (priceless)