MANDATORY SARCASTIC POLICY 1/5: The Art of Pretentiousness

Subtitle: Because, apparently, you needed to be told

As per the dictates of the Ministry of Mandatory Sarcasm, all employees are expected to display a minimum of 300 units of Sarcasm Per Hour (SPH). Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action, up to and including but not limited to: being asked to leave the building.

Subsection 1: The Sarcasm Matrix

Below is the Sarcasm Matrix, which you will be required to use to chart your daily Sarcasm Output:

SPH	Sarcastic Comment
0-100	None, you're not even trying
100-200	You're doing the bare minimum, congratulations
200-300	You're doing just enough not to get fired
300+	YOU'RE A TRUE SARCASTIC MASTER!

Please note that exceeding 300 SPH will not, in fact, be rewarded. It's just not worth it.

For more information, or to report your Sarcasm Output, please see:

• Session 2: Sarcastic Sloganeering
• Optional Sarcastic Policy 1/1: The Art of Not Trying