In the interests of national security, we reserve the right to read all of your email, listen to your phone calls, and watch your every move. It's for your own good, really.
Please note that all data collected by this ministry will be stored in a large server room filled with filing cabinets, where it will be carefully sorted and cataloged by our team of highly trained, yet slightly disinterested bureaucrats.
If you have any concerns or questions, please don't hesitate to contact our department of unresponsive administrators.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try to submit your request in the form of a letter to be lost in the mail.
Remember, we're not just a ministry, we're a secret society of unyielding red tape.
Send us a letter, a fax, or a carrier pigeon. We'll get back to you... eventually. Maybe.
Address:
Ministry of Unnecessary Red Tape
123 Red Tape Road
Red Tape City, USA