Meet the Chrono-Prophets

Today's Forecasts:

Chance of Existential Dread: 80%
Probability of Sudden Coffee Overload: 40%
High Risk of Sudden Onset Bureaucracy: 90%

Prophecies from the Oracle:

Tomorrow, you will spill coffee on your shirt. Again.
By next Thursday, the coffee machine will be possessed by an evil spirit.
In the year 3050, humanity will finally achieve true enlightenment, but only after a global pandemic of disco.

See Tomorrow's Forecasts Explore Ancient Prophecies

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