COFFEE MACHINE EMERGENCY: Level 3 Response

CONTINGENCY PLANS IN EFFECT

Due to a critical failure of the coffee machine, we are now entering Level 3 Response.

Immediate action is required to restore caffeine flow.

Hyper-vigilance is advised.

Stay frosty, stay alert. We will update this page as more information becomes available.

For the sake of the office.

(Note: The above response is a satirical take on a typical corporate/IT emergency response situation, with a dash of absurdity and dark humor.)