Coffee Machine Emergency Response Plan

Phase 2: Desperately Seeking Refuel

**Warning: Coffee Levels Critical**

In the event of an extended coffee machine outage, the following protocol shall be followed:

• Activate Code Red: Alert the coffee connoisseurs in the vicinity via a series of frantic, all-caps text messages.
• Scavenger Hunt: Dispatch teams to scour the surrounding area for any available coffee sources, including but not limited to: local cafes, coffee carts, or willing coffee- sharing neighbors.
• Contingency Coffee Cache: Establish a temporary coffee cache in the break room, utilizing the following resources:
• Expediently sourced cold brew from the 3rd floor supply closet.
• Expertly crafted pour-overs from the break room's secret stash.
• Brewed coffee from the CEO's private collection (password required).
• Code Black: In the event of an unresolvable coffee shortage, the company shall be declared a 'Coffee Emergency Zone', and all employees are encouraged to take unscheduled coffee breaks to the nearest coffee establishment.

**Remember:** A well-timed coffee break is the key to productivity, and a functioning society.

Phase 3: The Caffeine Fueled Revolt