COFFEE MACHINE OPERATIONS MANUAL

WARNING: READ CAREFULLY, OR RISK BURNING COFFEE

This manual is for the CO-3000 Coffee Machine, a marvel of engineering and a potential death trap.

To operate the CO-3000, first ensure you have read and understand the following sections:

1. Brewing 101: The Basics
2. Cleaning the CO-3000: A Desperate Measure
3. Troubleshooting: When the CO-3000 Betrays You
4. Warranty Voiding Tips: Because You Clearly Need It

Go to Section 5: For the Truly Insufferable