COFFEE MACHINE OPERATIONS MANUAL

WARNING: READ CAREFULLY, OR RISK BURNING COFFEE

This manual is for the CO-3000 Coffee Machine, a marvel of engineering and a potential death trap.

To operate the CO-3000, first ensure you have read and understand the following sections:

  1. Brewing 101: The Basics
  2. Cleaning the CO-3000: A Desperate Measure
  3. Troubleshooting: When the CO-3000 Betrays You
  4. Warranty Voiding Tips: Because You Clearly Need It
Go to Section 5: For the Truly Insufferable