Meetings: Coffee Machine Operations Manual

Section 4: Post-Brewing Procedures

After the coffee has been extracted from the machine, follow these steps to ensure the machine is in a state of optimal disarray:

• Turn off the machine. This will prevent it from plotting against you.
• Remove any remaining coffee from the machine. This will prevent it from forming a union and demanding better working conditions.
• Perform a series of 7 rituals to purify the machine:
• Ritual 1: The Sweeping of the Brewer
• Ritual 2: The Purging of the Pipe
• Ritual 3: The Sanitizing of the Surface
• Ritual 4: The Recharging of the Reservoir
• Ritual 5: The Rebooting of the System
• Ritual 6: The Defragmenting of the Database
• Ritual 7: The Exasperating of the Employees

By following these rituals, you will ensure that the coffee machine is in a state of optimal dysfunction.

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