Committee of the Endless Agendas: Decisions from the Abyss

Meeting Minutes, Volume 42, Page 3

Present: Chairperson Bureaucrat, Vice Chairperson Red Tape, Secretary Pencil Neck, Members: 17

Meeting called to order at 9:00 AM sharp. Chairperson Bureaucrat banged the gavel, which was a gavel, because we're not made of money.

Item 1: The Great Coffee Machine Debate

  1. The motion to purchase a coffee machine with a built-in toaster was tabled due to concerns about the toaster's ability to properly toast.
  2. The motion to purchase a coffee machine without a toaster was tabled due to concerns about the lack of toast.
  3. The motion to purchase a manual coffee machine was tabled due to concerns about manual labor.
  4. Discussion continued for 2 hours 14 minutes and 31 seconds.
  5. Decision: Tabled, tabled, tabled, tabled, tabled.

Next item: The Great Paperclip Controversy

  1. The motion to purchase paperclips in bulk was met with fierce resistance from Member 7, who claimed they were a threat to the environment.
  2. The motion to purchase biodegradable paperclips was met with fierce resistance from Member 11, who claimed they were a threat to their sanity.
  3. Discussion continued for 1 hour 42 minutes and 14 seconds.
  4. Decision: 50 paperclips to be purchased in bulk, with a special exemption for Member 11.

Decisions in the Abyss

The committee has reached the depths of the abyss, where decisions go to die.

Decisions from previous meetings have been lost in the void.

But we're still meeting. Because that's what we do.

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