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Twitter: The Committee of Utterly Unfulfilling Expectations

Subcommittee of Social Media Platforms

Where the only thing more exhausting than our meetings is the existential dread of having to check our phones every 5 seconds for "engagement"

Next Meeting: "Why Can't We Just Use Email Like Normal Humans?"

Location: That One Cubicle with the Ugly Chair

Time: 2 PM. Because 2 PM is the New 3 PM