Annual 2023: The Most Important Meeting of the Year

Abstracts

This is the most important meeting of the year, and you're not invited. But don't worry, we'll make sure to include you in our post-meeting summary report, which will be published on our highly-regarded "I Was There" newsletter.

Below are the abstracts for the talks presented during Annual 2023. We're sure you'll find them riveting, if a bit confusing.

Panel Discussion: The Futility of Productivity

A panel of esteemed experts will discuss the utter futility of trying to be productive in the modern age. Featuring:

  • Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth: The renowned expert on doing absolutely nothing.
  • Dr. Emily P. Time-Waster: The leading authority on procrastination techniques.
  • Dr. Bob Squarepants: The celebrated specialist in finding creative ways to waste time.

Join us for a thought-provoking discussion that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about productivity.

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The Art of Doing Nothing: A Workshop

In this hands-on workshop, you'll learn the secrets of doing absolutely nothing. Perfect for the busy professional on the go, this session will teach you how to turn your productivity into a hobby.

Featuring:

  • Dr. Jane S. Idlehands: The leading expert on idle hands.
  • Dr. Joe N. Timekiller: The renowned specialist in time management (for doing nothing).
  • Dr. Bob S. Procrastinator: The celebrated authority on putting things off until later.
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The Annual 2023 Awards for Excellence in Procrastination

Join us as we celebrate the most accomplished procrastinators of the year. Featuring:

  • The Procrastination Lifetime Achievement Award: Presented to the person who has done the least amount of work in the past year.
  • The Procrastination Innovation Award: For the most creative ways to put things off until later.
  • The Procrastination Spirit Award: For the person who has shown the most dedication to doing nothing.
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