The Petzler Protocol: A Guide to Effective Decision-Making

This is the infamous Petzler Protocol, a comprehensive guide to making decisions that will change the course of history. Or at least, make your coworkers' lives slightly more tolerable.

• Step 1: Create a To-Do List that Never Ends
• Step 2: Master the Art of Procrastination
• Step 3: Harness the Power of Pizza
• Step 4: Decide on Decisions, Sort Of

By following these simple steps, you'll be well on your way to becoming a master decision-maker. Or, you know, at least you'll have a nice collection of tabs open.

Next meeting: Wednesday, 3:00 PM. Don't be late.