As of today, the Pretzel Substitution Plan (PSP) has been activated, and our team is now working on Phase One: The Great Pretzel Uproar.
Our research indicates that the current pretzel situation is Code Red due to an unexpected shortage of pretzel rods.
The team has devised a three-pronged approach to address this crisis:
Please report back to HQ after reviewing the Phase One Report. Remember, the Pretzel Substitution Plan is a Phase One report, and there are more surprises ahead.
Stay pretzel-tough, agents. The fate of humanity's snack food options depends on it.
Hyperlinks to further information: