Meeting will never end.
Snacks will be provided, but only for those who bring their own.
Bring your own chair, as the ones we provide are not actually chairs, but rather a pile of rocks.
Do not attempt to escape, as the doors have been sealed with superglue.
Please do not try to call your emergency contacts, as they will only laugh at you.
Also, the fire department has been told not to come.
In fact, the whole point of this meeting is to break you.
There is no actual agenda, but we're going to pretend there is.
We'll just make something up as we go along.
Because that's what meetings are for.
You have been here for 4 hours and 32 minutes. You have 23 hours and 28 minutes left to go.
Time is relative, but not really.