Committee Decision 5: The One That Never Ends

We, the committee, after much deliberation and debate, have come to the conclusion that the meeting will never actually end.

This is not a joke, folks. We've been meeting for weeks, and it's clear that our discussion has entered a state of liminal purgatory, where time itself has lost all meaning.

As such, we're going to have to start making decisions based solely on the whims of the coffee machine, which has been eerily quiet since 3 PM yesterday.

We'll be taking a 15-minute break to recharge and contemplate the meaninglessness of our existence. During this time, please ponder the following:

• What is the true meaning of "break" in our context?
• Can we actually survive on just the remaining 3 packets of stale coffee in the conference room?
• Is it possible to reprogram the coffee machine to spit out a decent cup every 10 minutes?

When we return, we'll be voting on the following proposals:

• Proposal 1: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!
• Proposal 2: Declare the meeting a success and send everyone home with a participation trophy!
• Proposal 3: Call in an external consultant to tell us what to do!