Welcome, colleagues! Today we're going to discuss the most pressing issues in the company. But first, let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that I'm not actually here in person.
Why am I not here? Well, I'm currently experiencing a rare and highly debilitating case of "Sudden Onset Virtual Reality Discomfort Syndrome" (SOVRDS). It's a real thing, trust me, I've done the research. Learn more about SOVRDS.
Now, let's get down to business. Our meeting will cover the following topics:
And don't forget, if you're feeling unwell or experiencing any symptoms of SOVRDS, please take the necessary precautions to avoid infecting your colleagues. Wash your hands frequently, wear a mask, and for the love of all things sane, DO NOT TOUCH THE COFFEE MACHINE!