Evacuation Routes: The Final Plan
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the entire city is being relocated to a safer, more scenic location.
Route 1: The Quick and the Dead
Follow the yellow brick road to our designated safe zone, where you'll enjoy:
- Free Wi-Fi
- Complimentary snacks and drinks
- A 50% chance of not being eaten by a wild pack of marauding velociraptors
View Route 1 Details
Route 2: The Long and the Winding
Take a scenic detour through the abandoned amusement park for some added thrills:
- Freefall from a 100-meter high swing ride
- A surprise visit from our sponsors (read: a pack of wild dogs)
- A 75% chance of getting lost in the funhouse forever
View Route 2 Details
Route 3: The Short and the Brutal
For the truly adventurous, take the express lane:
- Direct access to the safe zone
- No snacks, no Wi-Fi, no chance of survival
- A 99% chance of arriving at the destination in a box
View Route 3 Details
Still confused? Visit our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQL) for more information!
FAQs