Today will be a day of mild despair, with a high chance of existential dread.
A gentle breeze of disappointment will blow in from the east, carrying with it the whispers of forgotten dreams and unfulfilled promises.
A 50% chance of mild regret will develop by mid-morning, with scattered showers of "should've just stayed in bed".
Expect a high of 72°F (22°C) of mild anxiety, with a low of 32°F (0°C) of crushing self-doubt.
Enjoy your Thursday.