Fortune Cookie Readings

For the Bureaucrats of the Realm

Our team of expert cookie interpreters have analyzed the contents of this cookie and have determined that you will...

WIN THE COFFEE MACHINE BID!

However, this comes with a warning: your coworkers will now be forced to endure your incessant microwaving of fish-based snacks.

Would you like to know your future in more detail? Read on.

Or, if you'd rather know the fates of your coworkers, try this.