I think I lost my car keys again
Last place I had them: The couch, under the pizza box. No, wait, that was last week.
I'm pretty sure I had them in my other pair of pants, but those are in the laundry room, which is on the other side of the house, which is also where I think I lost the cat.
Maybe you should just start looking for them in the fridge. You know what they say: "You can never find your keys, but you can always find a half-empty pizza box."
Where I Last Had a Real Adult Relationship
Who Left the Rental Car with Its Trunk Open in the Middle of the City