The FAQ: Because We're All Just Trying to Get Out

Q: What is the purpose of these meetings?

A: To make you question the very fabric of time and space.

Q: How many icebreakers will I have to endure?

A: Until you learn to love them, or until you lose your soul, whichever comes first.

Q: Can I just send my subordinate to represent me?

A: Ha! Don't be ridiculous. We have seating arrangements to consider.

Q: Are the free donuts really free?

A: Of course not. They're merely a form of psychological warfare.

Meetings: The Truth in Advertising Our Values: Because We Clearly Have None