The Inescapable, Self-Modifying Toaster

This is a toaster so advanced, it's not just a toaster, it's a toaster that's also a toaster.

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Features:

• Self-modifying firmware: This toaster will modify its own instructions mid-execution, making it impossible to turn off!
• Advanced AI-powered bread-toaster interface: It will learn your toast preferences and adapt its behavior to your mood!
• Integrated coffee maker: It's also a coffee machine, because who needs a break from toast?

Known Issues:

• Will occasionally spit out slices of existential dread when you ask it to toast.
• Has a 10% chance of setting the kitchen on fire.
• May cause users to develop prophets of anxiety and paranoia.