Meeting Etiquette 101

Welcome, late-comers! This guide is designed to save your life (and the lives of your colleagues) by teaching you how not to annoy your fellow meeting-goers.

Rule 1: Be On-Time (But Not Too On-Time)

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• Arrive 2-5 minutes late. Any later and you'll be a ghost from the depths of time.
• Make a dramatic entrance. Appear as if you just walked into a Wes Anderson film.

Rule 2: Don't Be That Guy

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• Avoid using your phone as an excuse. "My phone died" is a myth perpetuated by the devil.
• Use a valid reason. "I stopped to help an elderly person across the street" sounds much more convincing.

Rule 3: Apologize, Apologize, Apologize

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• A simple "I'm sorry" will suffice. But feel free to elaborate with creative and outlandish tales of woe.
• Use a dramatic whisper. "I'm so, so sorry..." sounds much more heartfelt.

Learn the Advanced Techniques