Technique 5 - The Art of Showing Up Late

Subtitle: Because Who Needs to Leave on Time?

Ah, the sweet taste of procrastination. You've finally arrived at Technique 5, the pinnacle of latecomerdom. Here, you'll master the delicate balance between "almost" being on time and "definitely" not.

Subtechnique 1 - The "Oh No, Traffic!" Excuse

You know the drill: traffic jam, construction, a squirrel in your path... it's always something. And you're right on time, just as soon as you get there!

Read on for more excuses

Subtechnique 2 - The "I'm Not a Morning Person" Defense

You see, you're just not a morning person. That's not your fault. You're naturally inclined towards the snooze button, the snooze-snooze-snooze cycle.

More on being a night owl

Subtechnique 3 - The "I Was Held Up in a Meeting" Ruse

Who needs to be on time when you have an emergency meeting to attend? The one where you "accidentally" left your lunch in the conference room?

The meeting that time

Subtechnique 4 - The "I Was Waiting for a Signal" Con

You know, the light is red, but the pedestrians are just not moving. It's like they're all in on a coordinated protest or something.

The great pedestrian jam of 2023

Subtechnique 5 - The "I Was Just Taking a Short Cut" Gambit

You know what they say: "The shortest path is often the longest path." And you've found that path! The one through the park, the woods, the abandoned asylum...

The tale of how you saved 37 minutes