Meetings: The Original Torture Device

A Brief History of Human Suffering

Meetings have been the bane of human existence since the dawn of time. Or at least since the invention of conference rooms.

In ancient civilizations, meetings were held around campfires to discuss who ate the last piece of mammoth. Today, they're still about who ate the last donut.

But don't just take our word for it:

• Studies have shown that 90% of meetings are pointless.
• 75% of attendees would rather watch paint dry than attend another meeting.
• And 100% of meeting planners are secretly sadists.

Exit Strategies

So, how do you escape the meeting trap?

Try these:

• Fake Emergency: Claim your cat has been kidnapped.
• Pretend to be Dead: Just don't breathe, it's that simple.
• Secretly Attend on Your Phone: Who needs a chair, anyway?