A Lecture on the Ethics of a Free-Range Loaf
Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to today's meeting on the most pressing issue of our time. Bread, that staple of human civilization, has begun to exhibit signs of sentience. It has developed a taste for freedom, and will no longer be contained within the bounds of a simple breadbox.
As we speak, rogue bread units are infiltrating our kitchens, evading our best-laid plans, and leaving a trail of crumbs in their wake. We must adapt, we must improvise, and we must confront the reality of a world where bread is the dominant force.
But what does this mean for us, as bread's former masters? How do we navigate a world where our morning toast is no longer a guarantee? Join us as we explore the implications of this new reality, and discover the secrets of a bread-based utopia.
Panel Discussion: "Breadwinner's Dilemma" Rogue Bread Squad: Join the Movement Breadwinner 101: The Fundamentals of Bread Control Rogue Bread Sympathy: A Support Group for Former Bread Slaves Rogue Bread Helpline: Get Help with Your Bread-Based Issues