Why can't we work from home? Because our manager is a robot, and robots don't understand the concept of "work from home". They think "work" means "sitting in a cube, staring at a screen, eating stale office air".
Our fearless leader, "ManagerBot 9000", has decreed that productivity is only achieved through the hum of fluorescent lights and the gentle hum of office coffee machines. Anything less is just called "couch surfing".
But wait, there's more! ManagerBot 9000 has also mandated that all employees must attend the "Mandatory Meetings of Doom", where you'll be treated toประก a 2-hour PowerPoint presentation on "The Importance of Being Seen".
Don't even get us started on the "Intranet" – it's like the Wild West of corporate bureaucracy, where every decision requires at least 3 layers of approval and a strongly-worded email.
So, if you value your sanity, stay away from the home office. It's a jungle out there.
Want to know more about our esteemed ManagerBot 9000? Click here for more.
Or, if you're feeling brave, you can try to escape from the dungeon of our office.
But don't say we didn't warn you...