Due to an unfortunate coincidence of scheduling conflicts and existential crises, you have been denied access to this meeting. Please try again next week.
However, if you insist on attending, here are some Agenda Items to review:
Also, if you have any Attendance Policy Questions, feel free to ask, but don't expect an answer.
Or, if you're just here for the free Snacks, we've got you covered, but don't get too attached.
Remember, the Snack-ethics Committee's motto: "We're not just a committee, we're a lifestyle."