10:15 AM - 10:30 AM: More Sarcasm

Why do we have to have a meeting at all?

  • We're all adults here, can't we just email each other?
  • We're not paid enough to have meetings
  • We're secretly all just a cult and this is some form of mind control

10:30 AM - 11:00 AM: Project Update - The Saga Continues

We will be discussing the never-ending story of our project's progress. Because, let's face it, it's never going to end.

  • Who still has the report from last week's meeting?
  • Why is the report still in a Word document?
  • Can we just use Google Docs like normal people?

11:00 AM - 11:15 AM: Sustenance and Sustenance-Related Discussions

We will be taking a 15-minute break to eat some stale donuts from the vending machine and complain about how we're still hungry.

  • Is there a vending machine that actually works?
  • Can we just get some actual food for once?
  • Why does the break room always smell like despair?

Continue to 11:15 AM - More Sarcasm

Continue to 2:00 PM - Break Update