Today's agenda: Nuclear War 101, because someone has to teach you how to survive the apocalypse.
Key Takeaways:
1. The most important thing to remember is: DO NOT TRY TO FIGHT IT. Just accept it, like the inevitable arrival of a vegan aunt at your dinner table.
2. Find a bunker, preferably with a well-stocked fridge and a reliable internet connection. Bonus points if it's a converted missile silo.
3. Learn to identify the difference between a mushroom and a nuclear warhead. Hint: one will get you killed, the other will get you high.
But wait, isn't this meeting about nuclear war? No, no, no. That's next week. This week, we're covering the essentials.
Next week, we'll be covering the Zombie Apocalypse 101. Same time, same place. Don't be late.
See you then, or not. We'll be in the bunker, with or without you.