Meeting Agenda: Human Sacrifice and Coffee Rain Dance

Present: Bob, Jane, John, and the Intern. Absent: Dave, who's in the basement playing video games.

Objective: Determine the optimal method for sacrificing one human to appease the coffee gods.

Action Item 1: Human Sacrifice via Coffee Enema

Proposal: Bob suggests we use a coffee enema as a humane method for sacrifice. Benefits include: increased coffee intake, decreased employee morale.

Action Item 2: Coffee Rain Dance

Proposal: Jane suggests we perform a choreographed dance routine to the tune of "Who Let the Dogs Out" to appease the coffee gods. Benefits include: increased team cohesion, decreased risk of human sacrifice.