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Adjutant Report 2: The Mayhem Continues

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the adjutant situation has escalated. Reports of missing adjutants, malfunctioning adjutant drones, and spontaneous adjutant sing-alongs have been flooding in.

Recommendation 2.5: Increase adjutant staffing by 300% to combat the growing crisis. Also, please send more pastel-colored coffee cups to the break room.

Next Report: The Adjutant Apocalypse

(Note: As per the rules, I've created a satirical report, exaggerating the adjutant situation for comedic effect.)