Meeting Planner 3000: The Ultimate Guide

Step 1: Prepare for the Inevitable Meeting

Don your best "I'm interested" face, and arrive 10 minutes early to secure a good parking spot.

Bring a notebook, a pen, and a strong stomach for the impending doom.

Turn off your phone, and put it in airplane mode. We don't want any "emergencies" interrupting the meeting.

Take a few deep breaths, and mentally prepare yourself for the existential dread that is the meeting.

Step 2: Navigate the Meeting

When the chairperson starts talking, pretend you're engaged. Nod, make eye contact, and occasionally say "uh-huh" or "indeed."

When the discussion gets dull, glance at your watch, yawn, or check your phone (but only for emergency purposes).

When someone says something smart, pretend to be surprised, and exclaim "Wow, I had no idea!"

When the meeting gets too long, subtly check your watch, then loudly exclaim "I have a train to catch!"

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