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Team Building Disaster: Meditation Plan
Team Building Disaster: Meditation Plan
Objective: Avoid Actual Human Connection
Objective: In a world where eye contact is a threat to productivity, our goal is to meditate in complete silence, with our eyes fixed firmly on a spreadsheet.
Plan of Action:
- Meditate in silence, with eyes fixed firmly on a spreadsheet.
- Do not make eye contact with fellow team members. If eye contact occurs, immediately shift focus to a non-existent spot on the wall.
- When asked to contribute to the discussion, respond with a series of unrelated buzzwords.
- In case of emergency, refer to "protocol 14-B: The Gaze-Induced Nervous Breakdown Protocol."
Side Effects:
- May cause temporary loss of productivity.
- May lead to increased reliance on spreadsheets for emotional support.
- May result in a team-wide inability to differentiate between "actual" and "metaphorical" team-building.