Fortune Telling Schedule for 2024-03-21

Today is March 21st, 2024. The stars are aligned for maximum absurdity. Here's your schedule:

09:00-10:00 AM - The Coffee Machine Will Predict Your Doom

• The Coffee Machine Predicts Your Doom (09:00-10:00 AM)
• A 90% Chance You'll Get Lost in the Stairway of Despair (10:00-11:00 AM)
• The Sock Drawer of Uncertainty: Will You Find That Missing Sock, or Will You Be Consumed by the Abyss? (11:00 AM-12:00 PM)

Please note that these events are subject to change at any moment. Or maybe you'll just forget your password. Again.

Other Fortune-Telling Sessions

The Tarot Card Reader of Mildly-Interesting Insights

The Urim and Thummim of Unimpressive Fortune Cookies

I Will Tell You Your True Name, but You Won't Remember It