Annual Performance Reviews 2023: Where Dreams Come to Die

Welcome, employees! It's that time of the year again. Our fearless CEO, Bertrand McSnazz, has graciously offered to share his wisdom on how to excel in your respective fields.

Below are the highlights from this year's evaluations:

• Employee A: Still can't be trusted with scissors.
• Employee B: Has mastered the art of eating an entire pizza by themselves in one sitting.
• Employee C: Is secretly a professional snail trainer.

Read the full speech from our beloved CEO

Don't forget to ask about employee benefits

Or, for some sassy commentary from a certain someone.

Upcoming Events:

Team-building exercises will be held on the following dates:

• Check the schedule