Proposal for the Meeting of the Century

Meeting Planner's Guide to Succeeding (Or Not)

Terminology

For the uninitiated, a meeting planner is not just a person who sits in a circle of chairs. We are the masterminds behind the most epic of gatherings.

• Agenda Item: A carefully crafted list of topics to be discussed, often in a color that will induce eye strain in the participants.
• Action Item: Something that should have been done last week, but will be put off until next Tuesday.
• Decision Maker: The person who will pretend to listen while secretly playing solitaire on their phone.
• Meeting Minutes: The document that will be written by the meeting planner, but nobody will ever read.