Future Prophets: The Council of Unreliable Visionaries

Meet our esteemed members, renowned for their questionable foresight:

Prophet #1: Zorvath, Lord of the Unfulfilled Promises

Known for predicting the invention of the wheel before it was cool, Zorvath has also been credited with predicting the end of the world 12 times.

Prophet #2: Balthazar, Seer of the Inevitable Disaster

Balthazar's prophesies are always shrouded prophets of doom, with 99.9% of his predictions ending in catastrophe.

Prophet #3: Xylon, Visionary of the Unlikely Event

Xylon's prophecies often involve time-traveling accountants and talking pineapple pizzas. Don't ask.

Want to learn more about our other, even more unreliable prophets?

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Or, if you're feeling particularly skeptical:

/prophet-rebuttal/

Or, if you're just here for the free food:

/prophets-cafe/

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