Manifesto of the Ascetic, Part 2

The Meeting of the Prophets, Part 2: Manifesto of the Ascetic

Article 1: The Ascetic Code

The Ascetic Code is a 7-point plan for achieving enlightenment through extreme minimalism:

Discard all possessions except for 1 spoon.
Consume only 1 type of food: plain rice cakes.
Eliminate all forms of entertainment, including Netflix and memes.
Practice extreme physical asceticism, such as standing still for 24 hours.
Reject all forms of social interaction, except for occasional shouting matches with the wall.
Focus solely on meditation, using only a single, flickering candle for illumination.
Repeat 'I will be enlightened' 100 times a day, in a monotone.

Step 1: Gather 3 plain rice cakes on a plate.

Step 2: Place plate on table.

Step 3: Sit in front of table.

Step 4: Stare at rice cakes.

For the Ascetic, love is a luxury. A distraction from the path to enlightenment. Therefore, do not love.

However, if you do love someone, love them only in theory.

Do not, under any circumstances, touch or kiss or cuddle.

Instead, stare at them from a distance, and occasionally whisper 'I will be enlightened' in their direction.