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The Lost Prophets of the Abyss
The Lost Prophets of the Abyss
A Brief History of the Most Inept Seers
Deep in the depths of the underworld, there existed a group of prophets so bad, they made Nostradamus look like a genius.
Meet the Lost Prophets of the Abyss, a crew of bungling seers who predicted the rise of pineapple pizza as the downfall of society.
Their prophecies were so laughable that even the most gullible of souls would question their sanity.
Some notable failures include:
- Prophet Zorvath, who predicted the end of the world would come in 2050 due to an alien invasion, but forgot to specify which alien species (Spoiler: it was just a bunch of raccoons in space suits).
- Prophet Xarath, who foresaw the rise of the 'Selfie Stick' as the ultimate tool for world domination, only to be foiled by the invention of the selfie stick's mortal enemy: the selfie drone.
- Prophet Gorthok, who prophesied the end of the world would come in 2023 due to an 'Inevitable' rise of the 'Farting Robot Uprising'... which turned out to be just a bunch of dudes with a whoopee cushion and a toaster.
Learn about the Known Prophets of the Abyss
Read the Lost Prophets of the Abyss's manifesto
Prophets who got it right, but still wrong